A CHALLENGE TO YOU

If you know me at all, chances are you've been exposed to the type of music known as "Hardcore", or any of its sub-genres.  And, chances are, you hated it with every part of your being.  You probably call it "screamo" or, if you're one of those exceptionally ignorant people, "devil music".  Little do you know, hardcore literally saved my life.

Yes, it's aggressive. It's raw. It's energy-fueled. It's pissed off, and it's in your face.  No, hardcore bands aren't played on the radio, they don't hit top 40 charts, and they don't sell out stadiums. But the message they send is undeniably real, and inspiring. It's about loyalty, family, and sticking up for what you believe in.  Never backing down.  Never giving up. 

Who doesn't love motivational lyricism?  

I could go on and on forever with examples on why I love this scene more than any other, but nothing I could say will make a damn bit of difference until you actually open yourself up to it.  So this is what I'm trying to do. 

I CHALLENGE EACH OF YOU TO GO TO A HARDCORE SHOW WITH AN OPEN MIND, AND TELL ME ABOUT YOUR EXPERIENCE.  LET YOURSELF GET LOST IN THE PASSION.  LET THE ENERGY TAKE YOU OVER.  PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT THE BANDS ARE SAYING.  GET INTO A PIT.  STAGE DIVE. THERE IS A PLACE IN THE HARDCORE SCENE FOR EVERYONE, SO THROW AWAY YOUR PRIDE AND GIVE IT A CHANCE. COMPLETELY LET YOURSELF GO. IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

If you live in Pocatello, here's a good chance. My good friends in Mata Leon are playing tonight at Deckadence. We all know there isn't shit else going on in that town, so get out and experience it.  Here are the details. 

This Is Growing Up

High school. What a joke.  But I wouldn't trade those four years for anything.  I had great friends, a great family, and everything that I knew was always so EASY.  I was handed my life on a silver platter. I really was.  I lived my life up until that point looking for nothing but the arrows along a trail that my parents and teachers had laid out for me from the beginning.  I flew through high school with relatively good grades, and I had the best times in the world, but all the while, I can't remember a single academic thing that I learned. The things that I did learn, though, however awful some of them are, were the beginnings of my finally discovering that I could actually think for myself.

I learned how to hold my liquor and remedy a hangover.
I learned how to jump fences.
I learned that sports are great, but politics are bullshit.
I learned to be a sneak.
I learned to be a fantastic liar.
I learned that being 'insubordinate' is much more exhilarating than following the rules.
I learned to psychologically manipulate authority figures.
I learned how to forge teachers' signatures on attendance slips.
I learned to play music.
I learned to be comfortable getting in front of a crowd and losing my mind.
I learned that I love poetry and literature.
I learned that music is my favorite therapy.
I learned that I have the mental strength to overcome suicide.
I learned that guys are assholes, but girls are no better.
I learned how to open myself to new possibilities and ideas.
I learned that none of these things make me a bad person.
I learned that deviance can be completely okay.

And so many other things.  But could I go back into my memory and explain basic algebra? Not a chance. All these things that I was forced to read and reread, over and over and over again, I never understood why.  It didn't occur to me until recently that I didn't have to understand why.  I was learning through my own experiences, on my own terms.  I was creating an identity for myself.  I was learning how to live for me.

Point, Shoot.

This is my first attempt at writing a blog, and I'm not sure exactly how to go about it.  I've never delved too far into the minds of bloggers.  I feel like it's time that I changed this.  

I have to give all of the credit in my deciding to start up this project to my good friend Mickelle, who, sadly, moved hundreds of miles away.  I will randomly see her writing pop up on Facebook, and the way that she pours her every thought out into her posts is inspiring to say the least.  I miss her dearly, and cannot wait until I can make it down to St. George so she can show me amazing places, and we can adventure (as we were always so stoked to do before). 

If you should be so compelled to follow my life, you will see two faces.  

You will see "positive vibes" and the way that I interpret certain experiences that I have found beautiful or miraculous.  You will see the places I go, and learn about the things that I learn through the way I perceive them.

Or, you will see an angry, lost, scared child, who is desperately trying to decipher these puzzles that dauntingly drown his desires, his dreams...his disastrous dark days doomed by depression.  

It ultimately doesn't matter which face you're looking for.  Somewhere in the middle, you will find an abundance of bizarre topics and thoughts.  I'm not looking for your approval.  I'm not seeking your advice.  You may or may not think that I am insane, but that's just how life goes.  If you choose to continue on the path to wherever my head may lead, I hope that I can at least give you some new insights to help you become your best self.  Now, let's see where it takes us. 

Cheers to new things.